Betrayal…

My nemesis, Betrayal, and I have met again.

Merriam-Webster defines betrayal as:

1 : to lead astray;
2 : to deliver to an enemy by treachery
3 : to fail or desert especially in time of need
4 a : to reveal unintentionally <betray one’s true feelings> b to disclose in violation of confidence
intransitive verb : to prove false

I cannot fully describe the resulting emotional roller-coaster.  It has consumed my thoughts, my energy, my days, and my nights.  It’s arrival during this season of my life was prophesied to me in January.  I could see its impending arrival a little over a month ago.  I tried to avoid experiencing it by seeking truth but the blind spouse of Betrayal is Trust.  I chose to hold onto her.

Betrayal’s wound hurts deeply because it attacks the one thing we hold onto so strongly; trust.  I know this feeling of grief will pass.  And, I will be the stronger for it.

My hope is that I will not fear to trust nor trust to fear.  If I do, Betrayal has won.

 

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